beingyoung · lifestuff · Random

So Yeah, Yesterday.

I was on the phone to my grandmother halfway across the world saying in another language ” I don’t like it here, no one likes me”

I was crying so much I wanted to puke, I was crying so much my head pulsed louder than my heartbeat.

I cried so much I now feel no emotion at all.

Before that I screamed and shouted, I swore out all my rage, the anger I’ve kept inside for so long, all the nerves I’ve felt, all the anxieties, (Not a good idea when you have a throat infection)

My aunty took me out shopping ‘to take my mind off it’

Yes I enjoyed myself, we had a starbucks, I window shopped, had conversations with my intelligent little cousin,

but once I got home I felt everything again,

I don’t even know how to explain it all, but I tried, and now I feel as though I’ve done something wrong.

I bummed around for a bit, but once my parents got home I went upstairs,

I didn’t want to talk about it to anyone, I didn’t want to understand it, I just wanted it to stop,

So I read, and cried a little more, until I fell asleep,

which brings me to today, where  I am lost, emotionless and tired, hungry yet nauseous, avoiding everyone and everything.

I guess this is what it feels like after a storm, or an earthquake, you don’t really know what to do, do you?

:/

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9 thoughts on “So Yeah, Yesterday.

  1. Hey. If you talk about it – to anyone – it’s not wrong. It’s good. We WANT to help you, in any way we can, and whatever it takes. It’s OKAY to feel everything, and it’s OKAY to feel nothing.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I’m so sorry, both because you feel so horrible and because I can’t give you good advice. All I can really say is I’m hoping it gets better for you, and I know you deserve it, and of course that your sore throat gets better. Just remember we’ll support you 🙂 xo

    Liked by 1 person

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