it burns me up inside
but I know I have something, some amazing shining bright AWESOME thing ahead of me,
recently all the shit of life has piled itself ontop of me, entirely suffocating my view of the future!
BUT I WILL NOT GIVE UP
NOT NOW, NOT YET, NEVERRRR
I feel good, I feel determined, even if in reality I feel empty.
I need to stop lying! :O
Anyways, I do feel empty, I do feel determined, and I’m not so sure how those two components go together, but hey ! I am a paradox so shut it logic!
Uhmmm, I have spent an hour editing my CRAP english essay,
I had this ultimatum low today, and I unfairly took all my anger out at my sweet sweet mother, it’s really bad, and the guilt is eating me up, so!
I will write her a letter. Why can’t you apologise in person? You ask,
well here’s the thing. I find it INCREDIBLY hard to apologise, I know I’m all about being a good person and whatnot, but truthfully, I am shit at apologising, but I try! I write, since I’m somehow good at that…?
I don’t really know, but soon, I need to explode into a universe and then? Rebuild myself from the scattered remains of stars. Also I must drink tea and dance, but not in that order.
Because at this moment I got this feelin’ that I am entirely going to just go ‘POP’ any second,
I both love it and hate it.