Alas here I am folks, in the early hours, being me, being wonderfully awake and alive,
I’ve had a few blue days, from Wednesday onward it was just blegh, but yesterday was an eye-opener,
whenever I’m in the mood to cry for no reason, it’s always the most unexpected people who bring me back up,
MATHS CHEERED ME UP and at the end of lesson Miss said with a smile “Do you feel more confident now?” and I just smiled my best smile, she had no idea what that meant XD
I went home smiling, but with that shadow following me around, I tried shrugging it off, went to mosque and tried my best to keep up with lessons,
then got home and just secluded myself from everyone, prayed (to who Idk), and slept
and here I am sipping Assam tea, listening to Justin Timberlake and J Lo, blogging,
AND OHMYLIFE I JUST DISCOVERED AIN’T YOUR MAMA,
I’m sick of the patriarchal sexism in my household, in society, when I was 13, THIRTEEN YEARS OLD, my grandma told me there’s no point in me carrying on school because I was going to be in a house cooking and cleaning with a BA Hons in Literature certificate as decoration in my living room. How damaging do you think that was to me? I was 13, barely understanding the world, adolescence creeping in on me, and I get told something so demeaning.
My grandma is an intelligent lady, don’t get me wrong, but she’s just from a different era I guess, it just sucks that someone with my firey personality was born into this family, because things are going to change, it hit me, if (when) I go to university I will be the first woman in my family to go on to higher education. That is a heavy title, no lie, it would be so cool to say that in interviews XD
I hate it when people say there’s no point in going to uni anymore, I’m just going to be drowing in student debt? I’m not going to get a job in this job market? NO.
Knowledge is power. Unversities are just beacons of knowledge.
Just because I have a vagina, not a dick, doesn’t mean I can’t do amazing things, doesn’t mean there’s less opportunity out there for me, I will get there. Watch me.
(Sorrynotsorry for the crude language but hey! C’est moi! No one’s forcing you to read.)
I feel really motivated right now, if you haven’t guessed, I kinda stopped working for a little bit but now my dream’s back in sight, I’m back. 😉
Also my friends keep telling me about my bubble and how bad it is for me but this is for them:
I’m glad I have my bubble around me, it’s smaller than it was before, but it’s still enough to put a gleam on things that no one else sees, my bubble protects me and it helps me, but popping my bubble doesn’t do much except putting things back into perspective, and that’s not always a bad thing. My bubble is something like armour for me, something like my own haven, something that will never entirely disappear.
~From The Book I’ll Never Write~ So Tumblr I know~
Today I feel like working my ass off, my first exam is on monday, RE, and tuesday is French, I’m sure I’ll be A-okay – I’m going to go to a friends house today to ‘revise’ :’)
So my message to y’all today is don’t get too comfortable, there’s always room for improvement, no matter how slow, the climb to success is still that, a climb. Keep going.
Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.