beingyoung · lifelesson · lifestuff · Random

A Lost Home.

happysad

For those of you who don’t know me very well yet,

I spent my first year of highschool in Malawi (Summer 2012- Summer 2013) , I live in England permanently, but this was like a try before buy,

so I was left in Malawi for a year with my Grandma,

and hell that was the best year of my life, I’m not joking,

It hurts me a lot to wonder what would have happened if I had stayed,

see yesterday, it was my class’ graduation ceremony over there,

and I wonder, what it would have been like if I was there,

would I be who I am now?
would I have learnt all the things I know now?

I’m seeing all their photos, they look so grown up, so different to how I remember them all, I guess we all grew up, I guess that’s life,

but apart from my best friends, do any of them remember me? Because I remember them frequently, it’s sad to say, but I do. I miss my life there, it was so good I couldn’t see at the time how good I had it, I sometimes even think my best friends don’t remember me either

This is making me feel really shitty, maybe I should stop typing,

but I do wonder what my life would be like if I had stayed,

I’d probably have a phone, I’d probably have written more about poverty than politics, I would have been more tanned, I would have been a healthier person, I wouldn’t have a blog, but probably some sort of a diary, or whatnot, I wouldn’t be so mentally fucked up, I would have fallen in love with different people, I would have been a different person,

I need to remember not to get stuck in my brain,

those who really matter to me will remember me, I mean I’m not the centre of the universe, people have lives to live,

*sigh*

I should just let it go,

When I visit in August, it will be fun, yes,

but that place is no longer home.

 

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2 thoughts on “A Lost Home.

  1. I think you always remember it as a sort of home. Now you’ve created new memories, and you’re a different person to how you would be, like you said. You won’t forget about it, and they couldn’t forget about you either

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I can relate to this. I went to Pakistan for a year with my grandma as well and then came back to Chicago. That class did graduate before me and I got held back a year here. I feel you but as said above, you’re a new person now with new memories, and God willing you’ll fall in love slowly but surely with this stronger and newer you. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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