For those of you who don’t know me very well yet,
I spent my first year of highschool in Malawi (Summer 2012- Summer 2013) , I live in England permanently, but this was like a try before buy,
so I was left in Malawi for a year with my Grandma,
and hell that was the best year of my life, I’m not joking,
It hurts me a lot to wonder what would have happened if I had stayed,
see yesterday, it was my class’ graduation ceremony over there,
and I wonder, what it would have been like if I was there,
would I be who I am now?
would I have learnt all the things I know now?
I’m seeing all their photos, they look so grown up, so different to how I remember them all, I guess we all grew up, I guess that’s life,
but apart from my best friends, do any of them remember me? Because I remember them frequently, it’s sad to say, but I do. I miss my life there, it was so good I couldn’t see at the time how good I had it, I sometimes even think my best friends don’t remember me either
This is making me feel really shitty, maybe I should stop typing,
but I do wonder what my life would be like if I had stayed,
I’d probably have a phone, I’d probably have written more about poverty than politics, I would have been more tanned, I would have been a healthier person, I wouldn’t have a blog, but probably some sort of a diary, or whatnot, I wouldn’t be so mentally fucked up, I would have fallen in love with different people, I would have been a different person,
I need to remember not to get stuck in my brain,
those who really matter to me will remember me, I mean I’m not the centre of the universe, people have lives to live,
I should just let it go,
When I visit in August, it will be fun, yes,
but that place is no longer home.