beingyoung · lifestuff · Random

The Things I Haven’t Said.

Orlando.

I haven’t posted anything about Orlando, though it has hurt me, because no one deserves to die, and it horrifies me that people say LGBT people deserve to die, are these people even listening to themselves? Just because I like girls and boys, it doesn’t mean I deserve to die, what type of a sick person thinks that? My heart hurts, though I feel no sadness personally because death never makes me feel sad, I have not a clue why, most probably because I didn’t know these people personally, maybe because I’m so used to hearing death on the news all the time, our world is becoming such a hateful place. I despise being human sometimes. Love will always win over hate. I believe in Love.

A lot has happened today, even though I thought it would be uneventful,

A local MP died after being shot today, a shock to us all, this stuff may be a norm in America, but here it’s definitely not, it’s sad because she was young and probably one of the only MP’s to take everyone’s views into account, I mean I don’t feel sad personally, I never feel sad about death, I feel shocked mostly, she died in the blessed month of Ramadhaan, hmph, I didn’t really like her as an MP, but at the end of the day she was a person, a mother and wife, and I can’t believe someone can just kill someone out of pure hatred.

My sister visited the hospital today, she may be getting her tonsils taken out, this made me realise how much I care about her, hearing her sing in the kitchen right now makes me feel blessed, I should appreciate my family more,

It’s my little brother’s birthday, he’s 9, I feel old.

ENGLAND WON THE GAME AGAINST WALES!!! YESSS GET IN THERE!!! We watched most of the match at school, I miss the united feeling of watching football as a group, as a nation. It’s something I stopped doing a while back. :/

I went to the library with my cousins and spent almost an hour at the park afterwards lying at the top of the climbing frame staring at the sky, it was serene, and I felt young again, I need more moments like that in my life,

I have 3 exams left, physics tomorrow and 2 further maths ones next week, keep me in your prayers and wish me luck!!!

*sigh*

many things have passed through my mind this week, I don’t really know why I don’t feel like writing about them anymore…. :/  I’ve tried, several times, but in the end I just delete the drafts,

I feel happysad, angrycalm, lost.

I don’t really know how I feel. I need to start writing again, but I feel like the fire inside has been extinguished. That scares me a great deal. Maybe I need to reconnect with myself, the question is, how?

My aunty said I lost weight, I think I’ve gained weight.

My bad thoughts have tried creeping up on me again but I’ve shut them out, for now…

I need to breathe, let go, just be.

I need to focus on the now.

I need to be free……..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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