beingyoung · islam · lifestuff · Random

God, Are You There?

01:03

Many of you may know or not know that it’s Ramadhaan, the most auspicious month for us Muslims,

the month I’m supposed to better myself, spiritually, control my desires, practise patience, fast 21 hours a day,

not when I’m supposed sleep all day and pray only the compulsory prayers, not when I’m supposed to give in to my desires and listen to music on the sly,

I feel really shit about it all, I’m a shitty Muslim, I am ashamed and guilty,

the first day I felt so Godly you know? All “ooooh it’s Ramadhaan I’m such a saint now, let’s be a preacher….”

three days later  I was a mess, craving my daily fix of music and random bits of TV (documentary series’), swearing left right and center, snapping at people, being a totally not nice person,

I’ve missed so many prayers this month, let alone this year, I’ve only read one chapter of the Quraan and it’s day 16, meaning I have around 13/14 days to get my act together, and start praying,

I feel as though God is laughing at me whilst simultaneously watching me fail at life, He’s probably like “You have the strength to be a good Muslim, I’ve done my bit it’s up to you now”

-_-

I know, God is always there to listen, but honestly I feel like my prayers are in his spam box right now, I mean I shouldn’t say stuff like this, it’s really disheartening though, after being so close to not believing in God at all, to now realise that He might be too busy to care about my petty issues,

I know that no one can help me if I don’t help myself first,

so I can’t lose hope, I have to pray, even if I don’t know why I’m praying or who I’m praying to,

I can’t stop believing,

it will shatter me indefinitely.

01:10

 

 

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3 thoughts on “God, Are You There?

  1. That’s something faced by almost every person sis..Me too! But we need to stay strong & have faith.Let the time move on & In Shaa Allah we can prove to be good muslims. ☺
    & yes ofcourse God is there! Watching over us & as u mentioned looking after our issues to provide us not with good but the best 💓

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m about the least qualified person to even comment on this post, but I think you need to do what makes you the most happy. If that’s getting closer to God, and praying, you can do that. I’m not going to say my personal beliefs even though you know them, but I think God would love you no matter what you did. He wouldn’t be too busy to answer your prayers, or listen to you.

    Liked by 1 person

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