Yesterday, I was entirely stressed out. Why? Well, because it was my first day back at madressa, why’s that stressful?
Well other than all the obvious reasons of me consistently questioning my religion and my faith etc, it’s because I have exams starting from today until next week (not including the weekend duh)
And I haven’t touched my madressa books since before Ramadan, (Ramadan ended a week ago)
I MEAN THAT’S ENOUGH REASON TO STRESS, without the fact that I’m not even sure why I go to madressa,
but then I went,
and my stomach was full of knots and knives,
it was actually okay! I didn’t full on panic, I was fine, I remembered some stuff, 🙂 I saw one of my best friends, got some hugs and had some laughs,
meh, I don’t want to talk about it anymore, that was way too many emotions in one day, I’m done.
Today I have fallen in love with black coffee and my hair,
my hair is so aaaaaaaaaaaaaah, it’s just being wild and beautiful and 🙂 yay,
black coffee, I couldn’t handle before, but now, now it’s all I want to drink, this poison is insane! I need!!!
I’ve just discovered this song and I love it, you all need to go and love it too, GO!
Uhm, I feel like now school’s over and I’m almost done with madressa for the year, I really need to start writing,
the thing is, I feel like I have nothing to write about, my life seems so boring, SO BORING, I mean nothing is happening,
I never wanted to be that person, that has nothing in their life other than school and madressa,
This is making me really frustrated and ultimately sad,
I mean I do have other things, like my passion for feminism and my love for biking, baking, and babysitting,
but these things seem like nothing to me,
Am I beating myself up?
I feel so happysad,
I need to stop thinking negatively, you know what? I’m going to write a page of prose today in hand, no typing, with music as my inspiration,
I don’t care about those stupid articles I’m supposed to write, because I’m not even sure journalism is for me anymore, it will be okay, I can live on poetry, it’s in my blood, in my heart, in my soul, I don’t need to stress myself out about articles when I can write happysad things,
because I’ll always be a poet, even if I can’t think of anything witty or amazing,
because I’ll always be me.