beingyoung · help · lifelesson · lifestuff · poetry · Random

Cutting Ties

I cried so much my eyes look
Bruised

I cried so much the sky no longer looks
Blue

My heart broke in two,
My soul lies there on the floor,

Whilst the voices in my head come
Knock-Knock
Knocking on my door,

Here they come again,
My old best friends,

The demons in my mind,
Dancing with delight
At the sigh of me

Melting

Crumpled, huddled over,

Stab wounds in my chest,
Giving up the fight,

But once more the flashlight

Blinds me

Finds me

Hides me from the cruel cruel world,

I am no longer a hopeless girl,

Here I lie,

Here I fight,

My heart taped together,
My eyes shining bright,

Cutting ties with the thoughts in my mind.


I wrote this after my breakdown today,

I didn’t really understand what was going on, I just had this urge to write,

and I did,

and ya know what,

it’s not that bad mate 🙂

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beingyoung · help · lifestuff · Random

We Are The Lions, Free of The Colesseums!

Ohmygodddddd

I haven’t blogged properly in so long!!!! 😭😭😭😭

So much has happened I don’t know where to start! 😬

I’m now in year 12, 6th form, so those of you who are American, I’m in my second to last year of high school, and it is HARD.

I’m doing 4 subjects: Maths, Literature, Sociology and Religious Studies(which inludes philosophy and ethics too.)

My life is amazing at this moment in time, not everything is going to plan, not everything is perfect but I’m still enjoying living, which in itself is awesome, considering a few months ago how miserable I was…

I mean I’m doing all these subjects out of sheer enjoyment, most people are doing the traditional sciences to get to medicine in the future, that’s all fine and dandy but for me that’s hell in a nutshell, I’m learning, for the fun of it, finally something I’ve wanted foe years, yes this education is compulsory but it’s also what I chose, that makes me feel incredibly powerful now that I think about it. 

But inevitably, the truth is I have not a clue what I want to do with my life apart from enjoy it, I need to make a living somehow, but I don’t know how? It’s a daunting thought that I wanna ignore for now!  

This new school, new house, has made me feel brand new, inside and out, I don’t have to provide a reason/excuse for not blogging, for disappearing, because that was my choice, this blog isn’t a ball and chain, it’s an escape, a rant outlet, a bunch of friends, a nice community, not a “I must blog otherwise I’ll lose followers” thing, 

I feel so “rainbow in my head butterflies in my tummy, life is full of sunshine” 

When it’s really not! But my oh my ohmyyyyyyy🙈🙈🙈🙈

Why do I feel so good? Does this mean I’ll crash soon? Does this mean I’ll burn out? Or will this be me forever now? Is this too much to ask for?

I feel like the old me!!!!

Guess who’s back!!! MEEEEE! Now to spam yall with random photos I’ve been taking, that look too good to have been taken on an iphone. 😅


That beautiful building is a chapel that I pass everyday walking to and fromschool 😊 

 ðŸ˜±

HAVE YOU ALL HEARD ALL WE KNOW BY THE CHAINSMOKERS?! IF NOT I DEMAND YOU OPEN YOUTUBE AND GO LISTEN TO IT NOW NOW AND THE ANKI REMIX AND THE STAYLEAVE REMIX!!!!

AND DANCE AND FEEL GOOD AND LOVE LIFE BECAUSE THAT SONG IS A MASTERPIECE! 


Never give up on your ride or die❤️

Imma end with my rocket ship, have an amazing saturday everyone! 😘😘😘

🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁🦁

beingyoung · help · lifestuff · Random

I’ll Be Running Through The Wild

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I feel kinda sad today, because of everything going on in the world, I woke up to the news of France, Kashmir, and many other places and I’m sick of the cruelty and inhumane things that go on in our world, and unfortunately I have to come to terms with the fact that things like this will keep happening as I grow up, even if I have children and become old and grey, these things will always happen, because the world is not perfect,

it’s important to not let that make me bitter, it’s important to keep doing good things and improving myself daily, not to let someone else’s actions fuel my sadness,

I have to keep reminding myself it’s okay to be sad, to have moods, to feel, that these emotions don’t have to rule me, that I can carry on with my day without being entirely consumed by my thoughts,

I have to keep going, if not for myself, for everyone who loves me,

Giving up isn’t an option, but taking a day off is. There’s a difference.

🙂

I’m learning to let others love me, not to run away when things get complicated, but to stay and try to fix them,

I’m constantly falling and getting back up, learning and re-learning,

for me life’s a bike ride,

if I don’t keep going, I’ll fall off.

 

advice · beingyoung · help · lifestuff · Random

Time To Actually DO Something.

Yesterday I made a huge to-do list, and today I just wanna go back to sleep,

*sigh*

I’ve become SUCH A BLOBBBBB

AAAAAAAARGH, I DO NOT NEED ROUTINE TO LIVE, BUT I KNOW I NEED ROUTINE,

also, I mean, someone needs to motivate me please, anyone?

Uhmmm I was awakened rudely about an hour ago, and now I don’t really know what I’m doing with my life, I haven’t even had coffee yet, today was supposed to be my super-productive day, WHAT AM I PLAYING AT?!

I should go have breakfast, and uhm do all 15 things on my to do list, and chill outttt,

The reason I made this list was actually part of my stress relief, I had so many things buzzing in my mind, so I began writing all the things down, and ta-da! To-do list 🙂

 

this is actually helping me right now to remain calm,

*and breathe*

You might be a little bit confused as to why I’m not calm, it’s the lack of things to do, I get bored very easily and that triggers stress,

I’ve finished school and am sitting around waiting for things to do,

So the list should help me, if you have a buzzing brain, give it a go, just write everything down, every single thing, and then do it.

Be it as small as washing your hair, or asking your dad that question, or bigger, to start that art project you said you’d do a month ago, to bake a cake for a friend,

 

I’m now going to have breakfast and do what I have to do today, 🙂

let’s hope I don’t procrastinate and accomplish something! ^_^

Byes for now. xxx

 

advice · beingyoung · help · lifelesson · lifestuff · Random

A Letter To Myself

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Often now you feel overwhelmed with what you are to do with your future, decisions you make now will affect your future 5, even 10 years from now, and that is scary, crazy,

You’re 16. Just 16, though you feel like you’ve lived for far too long already,

people your age have done amazing things, and yet here you are, clasically average in your ways,

people your age have done treacherous things, and yet here you are, clasically average in your ways,

right now, is what inevitably matters, the present, wallowing in the past won’t do good, and being 2 steps ahead can be good sometimes but can also be poisonous,

so I give this advice to you, live for now, let tomorrow come at its own pace, running ahead, you might trip, whilst lagging behind will make life harder,

do what you’re able to do, don’t get stuck on what you can’t do,

do what you love and life will get easier, passion in work makes it feel like it’s not work at all, and the product will be much better if you pour your heart into the process,

laugh, make memories, take photos, give love,

live.

Let go of all the negative baggage you’ve made yourself to carry, stand tall, give out the energy you wish to recieve,

You keep telling others to do this, but when will you tell yourself? Just stop for a minute, you’ve become lost because you’re always rushing to the next step,

you must stop pretending to be fine, really, it’s okay not to be okay, you should let yourself off the hook, really, you’re not as bad as you think you are, you could be far worse,

so please, stop beating yourself up about the smallest things,

just write what comes to mind, stop thinking so much about it, you’re becoming your worst enemy, and after so long trying to fix that, why are you going back to your old ways? Come on, you’re far better than that.

Just breathe, let life take you,

and hand in hand with happiness,

you’ll do amazing things,

trust me.

❤

 

 

beingyoung · help · lifestuff · Random

Just Chill Ya Beans.

“How are you so chilled? About everything? I wish I was like you.”

I’ve been told this a lot recently, especially now exams have started and we’re halfway through, ONE MONTH TO GO! KILLING THIS SHIT!

Yeah, so I just wanna say, I’m not actually that chill, I just know that exams do not mean life or death, in the end they’re just bits of paper that we get to write random ass shit on, sometimes cool shit, exams don’t define us, if I get shit grades, that’s my fault, and I have to deal with it,

what’s the point in stressing over them? I really don’t see one. I’m not totally careless, I just don’t care as much as other people, because I know I’m an intelligent being without grades telling me that, I know I can do amazing shit with our without my grades,

I just have that faith.

And I think a lot of people lack that faith.

Nothing is totally impossible, the world is an amazing, HUGE place, opportunities will seek you out, yes you do have to put some work in, but you don’t have to put yourself in a state over exams, over silly things like that.

So just have faith yeah?

You gotta have the faith faith faith 😉

beingyoung · help · lifestuff · Random

In The Sunlight I Learn Philosophies & Schools of Thought

I’ve decided to revise (Religious Studies) outside where the sun in mercilessly beating down on me, but I like the serenity of our balcony, it’s hot but it’s worth it, since we never get good weather, and it’s the closest thing to home (Malawi),

I’m out there studying attitudes towards abortion and euthanasia, such cheery topics :’)

So yeah, I got too hot and came inside to write this, I do think revising in different surroundings is good for you, I don’t care if I get slightly tanned this is worth it 😉

Hope y’all have wonderful weather like me, enjoy the rest of your Sundays ❤