Sneezing Out My Soul

Yesterday I went to school, I took an entire tissue box with me,

because I thought I was dying from sneezes :’)

Right, so I get outside, and nothing. No sneezing AT ALL.

Weird? I know,

I’m thinking I’m allergic to my own house now.

XP

via I’m Not Anti-Social — Dream Big, Dream Often

What I Live For

 

MY FAVOURITE BAND CAME OUT WITH THIS AWESOME SONG YESTERDAY AND LIKE YOU ALL HAVE TO HYPE WITH ME NOW!!!

This song just makes me want to live, live! Not survive, truly live.

At this stage in school, in life, people are prone to asking what I want in life, what I want to do with my future, I’m always worried that if I say

“I just want to be happy and content with my lifestyle and who I am, I just want to have fun all day, everyday and never have doubts about how I feel or who I decide to be.”

that people will take me as a joke,

Kinda like when John Lennon said he wanted to be happy,

I mean to me, all that matters in life is happiness, true content, true love, LIVING NOT JUST SURVIVING.

Not money, not clothes, not makeup, no fancy cars or mahusive houses, just happiness, peace of mind, friends to laugh with, family to love,

A simple life.

You Don’t Wanna Be High Like Me

Never really knowing why like me,

that song is a killer (I took a pill In Ibiza), I woke up and that lyric was bouncing around my head, XD

You know when you jump out of bed because you’re just sick of being a blob and don’t want to be overcome by the stress of all the homework + revision that you still have not done, but then once you get downstairs, you switch on the news channel and you start writing a blog post and then you think “naaa, I don’t need to do work no more” :’)

Yah, so that’s what I’ve just done.

I feel so weird, I’ll let you in on a secret, I have a crush on someone, I told the someone, but I know it will pass, plus there’s no way I’m ready for another relationship, I’m liking the single life XD Is that bad? I don’t think so, becuase truthfully I’m not me yet, you know?

I went to school yesterday for le geography, and I hate how it makes me feel, school itself, just walking into reception, it makes me feel trapped, I have no idea why because I love learning so in theory I should love school? But I don’t. I just don’t. Which is why there’s no chance in hell I’ll stay at the 6th form there,

Maybe it’s the people, the normal normal NORMAL, people, but I’m not sure,

OH! I need to consult you guys on college options,

Right so, I have applied to 5 places, 4 places have accepted right, but I’m just not sure, me being an indecisive little shit as well, Imma rename them all in what my mind calls these colleges :’)

1- Snobby all A/B only college, far far away, that seems like a lot of fun, but when I went to my interview I got a bad gut feeling, but everyone keeps telling me it’s amazing, I missed the openday due to being ill, but got good reports from all friends, it is top of the league table (basically the students get awesome grades)

2-Mostly white, no prayerroom 6th form, (not racist, truth only, I mean I have no problem with that just the fact that there’s no prayer room, I know I’m no saint but I like my peace) for my interview I got such a good feeling,( I got checked out by cute people XD ) and the interviewer was real nice to me, so idk, it’s closer to home too, oh and it’s a 6th form so I can leave at normal 3pm not 5pm, the open evening was great too, their maths department is AWESOME.

3-Snobby, mostly asian, all A grade geniuses 6th form, this is a grammar school, so like, the students who stay on will be manically GENIUS, so I won’t feel as clever as I do in normal circumstances, I didn’t go to the open evening because I thought I wouldn’t apply, idk, though, idk, it will be 10 minutes away from my new house, I won’t be able to be me there because of the en masse of asian peoples since most are conservative muslim they won’t accept my bisexuality,

4-Communal, friendly, underadvertised college, my brother went to, mahusive campus, and really nice teachers, on the open day I talked to the head without even realising :’) so yeah it’s cool as f, my interview went great too, but the only downside is it’s in the middle of nowhere and it takes years to get there, I mean I don’t want to be exhausted by the daily commute there but it’s so COOL, I feel like I’d get real help there if I ever broke down during class, or you know just needed someone to listen,

Yeah this more for me than for you XD but I just thought I should get some second opinions, *sigh* that took too long to write, I am SUCH A BLOB,

I’m going to go to a friend’s house todayyyyyy wish me luck people, so I don’t do something weird :’)

I’m still in my PJ’s, sheesh, I’d better stop typing,

Adieu ❤